1, 2.
Have a listen.
Maybe they give you the same sense of hope it gives me.
Today: 6 April 2015
I turned 20 a week or so ago and I was asked how I feel about it. Since I already journaled some thoughts, I thought I could just share it. The following is as quoted from my journal.
I had dinner with Deanna just now and she asked me how I felt about turning 20. My first word/reaction was “fuck” in caps and spaced out. But it is (still 19, turning 20 at this point), less of a blow than it was when I turned 19. I think that’s because of several things.1. At 19, there were more unknowns than now, at 20. Or maybe I’ve come to be at peace with the idea that it’s okay to not know and not be certain. Or maybe a large part of 19’s “unknown” was about what I would be doing with my life in the coming years and if I’d be able to get into a university. And 20’s peace comes from having that ‘unknown’ known.2. At 19, I didn’t know who I was or who I was becoming, or who I wanted to be. 19’s confusion stemmed from knowing that I could be anything I wanted. And 20’s peace comes from a year of practicing acceptance. I have learnt to be okay with me, with what “me” can do and what “me” likes. Being okay with that resulted in me liking “me”, and thus being comfortable with who I am becoming and ultimately, who I become.3. 19’s struggle was much to do with resistance towards settling. 20’s calmness comes from settling on one conscious decision to not settle. There’s always more to everything. More to work towards, more to see, more to do, more to hear, more to love. And ultimately, more to give.20’s peace comes from knowing god exists, and knowing His is, and will always be, my Abba Father.
Ps. When I Grow Up still lightens my mood and always makes me hopeful.
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